Monthly Archives: March 2020

It’s the End of the World Yadda Yadda.

Well, maybe, anyway. Who knows? But I’m not gonna dwell on that right now – I’ll just say that I hope all my people are well, and doing what they should be doing. Specifically, keeping your DNA to yourself. Of course, if you’re one of those people who’s always out there slinging your DNA around anyway, me telling you to cut it out isn’t going to make any difference (trust me, I’ve been down that road before it was the end of the world). So, you know, whatever. Gross.

Moving on.

Jeep Cherokee Tow Hooks

I have been keeping busy. Back in February, you’ll recall I ordered skid plates and tow hooks for the Jeep. Well, they finally showed up, and then I finally had time to actually install them. Let me tell you, that was a chore. Had to take apart the entire front-end of the Jeep, and had to deal with the inevitable unforeseen issues that always pop up. Especially difficult to do single-handedly. Well, not difficult, exactly, but time-consuming. Crawling under the Jeep, realizing I needed a different tool, crawling back out, blah blah. I could use a little helper. Regardless, I got it done, and I’m pleased with the results. I’d like to get the remaining skid plates for the chassis and gas tank, but that will have to wait until this uncertainty is past. I’ve spent probably $1000 on groceries and supplies in the past 10 days, and that’s a better use of my money right now (and for what it’s worth, I’m stocked up for at least the next 3 months, if it comes down to that).

Raccoon Mountain

Obviously, under current circumstances, there hasn’t been much adventuring, but I did decide to get out on the mountain bike for a little bit. That and kayaking are reasonably safe pursuits, because there’s no close contact with other people (and none of the aforementioned slinging of DNA). So, I went back up to Raccoon Mountain and rode around up there – not too much; I have to get my bike legs back in shape, since all I’ve been doing for the past year is hiking (mostly). I guess hiking season is done, though, so now it’s going to just be cycling and kayaking (plus riding the motorbikes, natch). I didn’t really hit the actual MTB trails too much; this was mostly a pavement ride, just to get back into the swing. That’s probably going to be how I spend the next several weekends until it gets a little warmer. Still, nice to get out of the house, and it’s been almost 3 years since the last time I rode RM, so going back was a nice diversion from the global shitshow.

Raccoon Mountain Map

I’ll probably hop on the Kestrel this week. I put new tires on it over the winter, and haven’t been on it since. I’ve come up with a few interesting places to ride besides the typical Riverwalk, so in the interest of keeping things fresh, I’m gonna go explore. Everybody has to be somewhere, right?

Well, Blow Me Down. Or Up. Whichever.

So, to get right to it, a tire blew up in my pretty, pretty face, and it was more unpleasant than that sentence sounds. I’m telling you this so if you see me in the real world – which, in itself is unlikely – please ignore the cuts and abrasions and stuff on my face.

To make a long stupid story short but still stupid, I’ve been working on my big driveway gate, because reasons. Ugh. Anyway, the thing has two wheels, like wheelbarrow wheel-size that it uses to roll across the driveway when it’s closing. Those tires needed to be inflated and you can see where this is going, right? So, my face, maybe a foot away from a tire filled with nasty-ass water, and unbeknownst to me, dryrotted. Trust me, it’s beknownst to me now. When I started inflating it, it exploded, giving me a face, eyes and mouthful of shrapnel and the aforementioned nasty-ass water – all under high pressure. I’m sure that watching blinded-me trying to drive the tractor back up the driveway to take a Chernobyl-like shower was entertaining to my neighbors.

Anyway, mending the gate. And putting up the pictured “No Trespassing” signs, because lawyers said that’s what I should do. Did I say “because reasons” already? Because. Reasons. I’ve spent no small fortune in Ring cameras, motion-sensing flood lights and stupid signs. This is what my life has become. I will say this, though – dear eight pound, six ounce newborn baby Jesus, thank you for inventing the Garmin dashcam. Next, I need to talk to John Frankenheimer. Wait, he’s dead? OK, Hal Needham. He’s dead, too? Frick.

I guess it hasn’t been all bad, though. Mostly, but not all. I did have a nice bonfire in the backyard, where I not only got rid of downed brush, but I also danced around naked in hopes of changing my fortunes. Spoiler alert: didn’t work. Obviously.

There’s been a little adventure. A return trip to Sewanee, and the Templeton Library, Natural Bridge, Green’s View and other points. That’s always a nice drive, and one of my favorite get-out-of-town road trips. Surprisingly, a lot to see and do for such a small town. Plus, coeds. Hello, ladies.

And speaking of aimless driving in the Wee Small Hours, Lookout Mountain. A great place to just go wander and clear the ol’ squirrel factory when sitting at home for another day is too depressing to think about. Plus, they have a Starbucks. OK, there’s more than Starbucks, but that’s a big friggin’ bonus. Especially one that I can relax at in peace.

In other news, the skid plates for the Jeep will be here tomorrow, and the front tow hooks are shipping today – but that means I doubt they’ll be here in time for me to tinker over the weekend. No matter; I honestly don’t think I can be trapped in the house this weekend. I need to be away. Far, far away. So, that’ll just have to wait until another weekend; not too long, though – the Dragon is officially open for the season, and I need to be there.

Did I say “ugh” already? OK, I stand by it.